The One After They Kissed

*Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by
Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters
and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights
reserved.

TOW After They Kissed

Monica and Phoebe's apartment. Monica is listening to sad love songs on the
radio

Phoebe enters and starts to cleanse the aura

Phoebe: The air in here is so negative

Monica is off in her own little world. Phoebe turns off the radio

Phoebe: You've got to snap out of it.

Monica: You don't understand. It's too late and there's nothing I can do about
it. If only I could turn back time and tell Chandler how I felt.

Phoebe: What if you built a time machine?

Monica: What???

Phoebe: I saw on TV that a scientist turned a DeLorean into a time machine.

Monica: Back to The Future?

Phoebe: So you've heard about it!

Monica: Pheebs, I'm not in the mood right now.

Phoebe: You know what will make you feel better? You could kiss Joey

Monica: That won't make me feel better

Joey (passing thru the hall): Oh yes it will.

Opening Credits

Ross and Rachel's apartment

There is a knock on the door. Ross answers the door and invites Carol in

Ross: Hey Carol.

Carol: Hey.

awkward silence

Carol: Thanks for taking such good care of Ben for us. We just needed to get out

Ross: No problem. We had a great time.

Carol: We met a woman named Lisa in Paris

Ross: One woman not enough?

Ben charges into the room

Carol: Hey, sweetie. Did you have fun?

Ben: Yeah. Aunt Rachel, Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler took me over to Coney
Island

Carol: Sounds like you did have a good time. We gotta run.

Ross: Right.

Carol and Ben leave as Ross is a little depressed

Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is eating a bowl of cereal and hears Janice
laugh in Chandler's room as he shudders

Janice and Chandler emerge from Chandler's room as Joey recoils as if he just
saw Lucifer. Janice and Chandler partake in one more kiss before Janice leaves

Chandler: I know what you're thinking.

Joey: Then why aren't you getting your shots?

Chandler: It's going to work this time.

Joey: Stop scaring me!

Chandler: Janice may be my only shot at having somebody

Joey covers his ears and runs out screaming

Chandler sees Monica and sees her eyes are red

Chandler: Mon?

Monica does not answer

Chandler: Mon, are you crying?

Monica (shaky voice): No. I've just got a bad case of allergies

Joey (returning): Did you know this freak is seeing Janice again?

Monica runs into her apartment and slams the door

Joey: That's how a sane person reacts to Janice.

Commercial

Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are there

Phoebe: Are you feeling better?

Monica: A little

Phoebe: It will take time.

Monica: I know

Chandler enters. Monica tries to leave, but Chandler blocks her path

Chandler: Oh no you don't. Something's wrong and I want to know what it is.

Phoebe interferes

Phoebe: Just give her some space

Monica leaves

Chandler: What is with her?

Phoebe (trying to come up with an excuse): Uh...it's "that time of month"

Chandler: For the love of God, give her all the room she needs

Janice enters

Janice: Hey guys

Chandler: Hey, sweetie.

Chandler and Janice kiss. Joey sees them thru the window and runs off screaming

Phoebe: Keep it low-key around Mon, ok?

Chandler: Why?

Phoebe: She feels left out. You have Janice. Ross has Rachel and she doesn't
have anybody

Chandler: So that's what's bugging her.

Janice: I know somebody at work who will be perfect for Monica

Phoebe: Uhhhhhh......

Chandler: That's a great idea!

Phoebe: Uhhhhhhhhhh

Janice: I'll call him right now. See you tonight.

Janice Leaves

Phoebe: Uhhhhhhhh.....

Chandler: Cat got your tongue?

Phoebe: You are such an idiot!

Phoebe storms off and Chandler wonders what he said

Joey and Chandler's apartment

Joey just finished watching Star Wars and was trying to bring a beer to him,
using The Force. After a few seconds, Chandler picks up the beer and tosses it
to him

Joey: Thanks, man. I just didn't feel like getting up..... Where's the Wicked
Witch of the North East?

Chandler: Ok, don't say anything to Monica, but Janice is going to fix her up
with a co-worker.

Joey: So you got her on the path to the Dark Side too, huh?

Phoebe and Monica's apartment . Monica stumbles in drunk.....with Fun Bobby

Rachel: Oh My God. Fun Bobby!

Monica: Drunk Fun Bobby!

Rachel: No offense Mon, but you smell like a brewery.

Fun Bobby: Gotta run. Good to see you again, Rach.

Rachel: Mon, this is not good. This is not the way to handle it

About 10 minutes pass and Joey bursts in

Joey (panicky): Call 9-1-1. Chandler was just hit by a car. He's not moving!

Rachel: WHAT?????

Joey: Call now, dammit!

Ending Credits

Chandler is being hoisted into an ambulance. Fun Bobby is in hand-cuffs, charged
with a DWI

Rachel (sobbing): This isn't happening

Ross tries to comfort Rachel as Joey climbs into the ambulance. Monica is giving
Fun Bobby a how-could-you look

To Be Continued.............