(Continues where TOW Joey's Big Night, Part II left off..)

 

Ross: I wanna talk about what happened. About what I saw.

Rachel: No, no, no, you don't!

Ross: We have to talk about this.

Joey: Go ahead, Ross. Talk about whatever you want, buddy. 'Cause you're my best buddy! (Chuckles)

Ross: All right, why were you two kissing?

(Long Pause)

Joey: Refill? (Takes Ross's mug and heads to the kitchen. Rachel follows him.)

Rachel: Joey, this is bad. This is really, really bad.

Joey: It doesn't look good, does it?

Rachel: I just said it's "bad", what's the matter with you! (short pause) Talk to him, Joey. He really needs you to be his friend now. I'll be outside. (Leaves)

Ross: Hey, where'd Rachel go?

Joey: Ross, we need to talk about this. (Sighs and sits down) I'm sorry, but I can't help it. I'm crazy about her.

(Ross is shocked.)

Ross: Okay.

Joey: What?

Ross: I said okay.

Joey: What do you mean "okay"?

Ross: You love Rachel. (Gets up and leaves)

(Long Silence)

(Ross returns, and he is just standing at the doorway)

Ross: She's my ex-girlfriend.

(Joey has a disappointed look on his face.)

[Time Lapse to the finale scene of TOW Joey's Big Night, Part I...]

Ross: No, you know what? Don't talk! Don't speak at all! Do me a favor. And sleep with Rachel.

Joey: What!

Ross: Yeah, you heard me. Go sleep with her. Do that, now!

Joey: Ross...

Rachel: He can't do that.

(Silence. They realize she is at the door.)

Rachel: I'm pregnant.

(Awkward silence)

Ross: Rachel! Hi!

Rachel: Hey.

Ross: Do you mind me asking what on earth did you just say?!

Rachel: Umm...well, the thing is, it's, uh, uhm...I took a pregnancy test. And turns out...I'm pregnant! (Chuckles)

Joey: How...how did this happen?

Ross: Rachel and I have been secretly going on for over three months now.

Joey: Oh, my god.

Ross: And I guess you and Rachel now have a...thing! So, I guess I'll be gone. (Starts to leave)

Joey: Ross, wait!

Ross: What? What do you want, Joey? You're dating my girlfriend, you're dating the woman who is carrying my baby. (Leaves)

(Awkward silence)

Joey: Wow, this is weird.

Rachel: I know. What are the chances?

Joey: You know what? It's all your fault!

Rachel: What?!

Joey: You could've just stopped the kiss! How can you not stop the kiss, when you're having a baby with my best friend!

Rachel: How can I stop a kiss from happening?

Joey: Oh, so easy! Look at us now, not kissing!

Rachel: Joey, it happened. And you can't just undo it from happening.

Joey: But....... (Long Silence) Okay. I get it. (Goes to his room)

Phoebe: (Enters) Hey! Rach, listen to the song I created!

Rachel: You know, Pheebs, I'm just really not in the mood for that right now.

Phoebe: Just like what my daddy said! (Leaves, mad)

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica and Phoebe are there.]

Monica: You know, now with the things going on with the Joey-Rachel-Ross triangle, I think we're not seeing them in here much often.

Phoebe: Well, can't say it's a bad thing.

Chandler: Oh, Pheebs, I wanted to ask you, since you and Mike are professionals at the singing thing.

Phoebe: Oh, I wouldn't call us professionals. (Pause) But more like stars!

Chandler: Yeah, I need to write a jingle for a Christmas sale advertisement at the ad agency, so I was kinda wondering if you and Mike would be willing to...write it.

Phoebe: Oh, yay! I like to write jingles! Sure, of course, Chandler!

Chandler: Thanks!

Phoebe: All right, let me think of how to start it. Oooh! I got one! All right. (SINGING) Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way....

Monica: Phoebe, you can't include the famous Jingle Bells song.

Phoebe: What, he said he wanted the word "jingle" in it, now didn't he?!

Monica: Oh, (talking to Chandler) before I forget, sweetie...

Phoebe: Yes, darling?

Monica: (Ignoring Phoebe, but still laughing at it) Mom and dad invited us to their housewarming party. You know, now that they officially bought a new house.

Chandler: Oh, great! I would love to play tennis with your father again.

Monica: Great, but honey, please don't loose.

Phoebe: Oh, great, Mon, what time?

Monica: What? What time what?

Phoebe: The housewarming party.

Monica: Oh, I--I didn't say I was gonna invite you guys.

Phoebe: What?! So you guys go over to some slumber housewarming party, while Mike and I end up writing a "jingle" song?!

Monica: All right, fine. You and Mike can go. It starts at seven. Here's their address. (Gives her a piece of paper) But don't tell the others. All right? 'Cause I don't want them fighting in the middle of the party, and embarrassing us, okay?

Phoebe: Okay. And now, why would I ever invite Ross?

Chandler: 'Cause he's already invited, since it's his parents' housewarming party.

Phoebe: Oh, Ross's parents are having a housewarming party too? What a "joincidence"!

(Joey enters)

Phoebe: Oh, hey, Joey. Guess what? Monica's parents are having a housewarming party tomorrow night, and guess what--you're invited!!

Chandler: Phoebe!

Joey: Oh, great. Thanks. I think I'm gonna go. 'Cause I really want to take my thoughts off my brain. (They all glare at him) Yeah, got a lot of thinking to do lately!

(Ross enters, sees Joey, then goes to sit at the counter alone)

Monica: What's up with him?

Joey: Still mad at me.

Chandler: About the soapie award thing?

Joey: No. It got a lot more complicated than you think.

Monica: Looks like it. But, I mean, it can't be as bad as if Rachel was pregnant or something.

(Joey opens his eyes wildly in shock.)

Monica: Oh, my god, she is?!

Chandler: Oh, my god, who's the father?

Phoebe: Oh, my god, I just thought of a great jingle song!!

Joey: You're not supposed to know this information, but I'll tell ya anyway! (Pause) It's Ross.

(They all gasp in shock.)

Phoebe: It goes a little like this...

Joey: Sssshhhh!!! But now, Ross is even more mad at me, because he now knows that his best friend --thats me-- is going out with the woman who is carrying his baby.

Chandler: Oh, my god. That's so bad.

Phoebe: (Singing a song that is a little like Smelly Cat) Phoebe Buffay, Phoebe Buffay...why don't you think of a song? Phoebe Buffay, Phoebe Buffay...it is not your fault.... What do you think?

Chandler: It's great. But I think I'll go with Jingle Bells.

(Ross comes closer.)

Ross: Hey, guys. Y'all know about Monica and my parents' housewarming party, right?

Chandler: Yeah.

Phoebe: Can't wait.

Ross: Great. 'Cause they asked for everybody to be there.

Joey: Yeah. I think I'm gonna pass.

(Long Silence)

Ross: Okay. See you guys there. (Leaves the coffeehouse)

Monica: Pass? Joey, you're gonna pass? But why! I want you to be there!

Joey: No, I can't go if both, Ross and Rachel are going.

Chandler: I guess you're right.

Monica: [To Chandler] Shush, you're never right!

(Chandler looks dumbfounded)

Phoebe: Well, she has a point.

Monica: Joey, if you don't fix this now, then it'll stay a complicated situation forever!

Joey: Monica....

Monica: Think of all the dancing!

Joey: I can't just...

Monica: Think of all the girls!

Joey: I don't want to...

Monica: The food!

(Pause)

Joey: Ohh, nobody said nothin' about food. I'm there! [BEAT] Is there a pool too, or somethin'?

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

 

END.