*Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters
and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.


TOW Ross' Passport


[Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is going over a stack of bills and Joey is playing video games]

Chandler (waving a piece of paper in the air): Joe? We need to talk.

Joey (turning off the Playstation): What's up, dude?

Chandler: We're $100 short for rent, this month. We need to really start cutting back on a few luxuries

Joey: Such as?

Chandler: For starters, if you quit buying so much beer, we'd save $50 a month

Joey: But....but.....but

Chandler: And look at this Cable bill! Look at all the porn you ordered on pay-per-view

** Joey takes the bill from Chandler and glances over it**

Joey: It doesn't look so bad.

Chandler: That's just page 1 of 5, Joe.

** Joey's eyes get wide **

Chandler: So we really need to start cutting back.

Joey: But "Baywatch Babes Gone Wild" comes on tonight

Chandler: So, we'll start cutting back tomorrow.

** Joey starts to leave **

Chandler: Where ya going?

Joey: Beer run. If we're going to start cutting back tomorrow, I'm gonna stock up today

Chandler: Good call.

-- Opening Credits --

[Central Perk. Monica is on the couch and Rachel is at the counter, getting coffee]

Rachel (to Gunther): Can I get a cappuccino?

Gunther: Sure.

Rachel: Well in a few weeks, you won't see Ross around here

Gunther (trying to contain his excitement): Really?

Rachel: Yeah. He's going to England

Gunther (trying to sound sincere): That's too bad.

Rachel: Yeah. It's gonna be really hard being so far apart, but it's really good
for his career.

** Gunther gives her a cup of cappuccino **

Gunther: Well if you ever need somebody to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on, I'm always available.

Rachel: You're so sweet

Gunther (blushing): Oh, stop

Rachel: One day, you'll make some guy very happy.

[ Rachel goes to the couch and drinks her cappuccino. Ross enters a few seconds later, followed by Joey]..

Ross (to Joey): You could not be more wrong

Joey: I'm serious!

Ross: So you actually think Dino could kick Barney's ass?

Joey: In a heart-beat!

Monica: I don't even want to know

Gunther (to Ross): I hear you're leaving?

Ross: Yeah in a few weeks. I'm off to Cambridge University

Gunther: Need any help packing?

Ross: I'm good, but thanks

Monica: I still can't believe you're actually moving half-way across the world.

Joey: WHY, GOD, WHY!!!

Ross: Come on, you guys! Do you think this is easy for me? This is the most gut-wrenching decision I've ever had to make. Every time I think of what I'm leaving behind, it makes me sick.

** Ross pauses to take a swig of Pepto Bismo **

Rachel: We're sorry, Ross. But you have to admit that you caught us off guard. And to leave in only a few weeks?

Ross: I know and I'm sorry but I just found out, myself. It's not like I've known and waited until the last minute to spring this on you.

Rachel (excited): Hey, I've got a great idea

Ross: What?

Rachel: What if I come with you?

Ross and Gunther (together): WHAT?

Rachel: I can come with you. There's a lot I can learn about fashion in London

Ross: I love you, Rach but I can't ask you to do that.

Rachel: You're not asking me. I'm asking you to let me come.

Ross: Rach, you belong here. You're whole life is here. Besides, somebody needs to keep an eye on Joey

Joey (insulted): Hey!

** Everybody looks at Joey **

Joey: Yeah, OK.

Monica: It's hard enough watching my brother go away. I don't want to watch you leave, too.

** Rachel and Monica cry and hug **

** Joey pretends to cry **

Joey: Hey! I'm broken up, too! Where's my hug?

** Rachel and Monica hug Joey **

Joey: Niiiiice.

Ross: Well I'm going to get some coffee and then check to see if my passport came

** Joey has that "evil look" as he leaves the coffee house **

Monica: You can't leave!

Rachel (sadly): I know. I just miss him so much already. If it's this hard now, how much harder will it be when I have to watch him get on that plane?

[Ross' Mailbox. Joey is going thru the mail]

Joey (thinking to himself): Bill...... bill...... bill .... Dino Monthly, what a geek..... bill.....bill.....Ah-Ha! Passport!

** Joey makes sure nobody is watching and puts tucks the passport in his pocket and walks away **

-- Commercial --

[Ross's Mailbox. Ross is checking his mail]

Ross (thinking to himself): Where the hell is the passport.....COOL my Dino Monthly magazine.

[ Ross and Rachel's apartment]

Ross: Hey, Rach did my passport happen to come in?

Rachel: I haven't seen it

** There's a knock on the door. Ross answers it to find Joey **

Joey: Hey man, do you want to catch a Knicks game tonight?

Ross: Sorry, Joe I'm kinda busy trying to figure out what happened to my passport.

Joey:..........ok

Ross: What's wrong, Joe?

Joey.....uh.....nothing

Ross: Do you know anything about my passport?

Joey: Uh.......

Rachel: Joey?

** Joey looks guilty **

Rachel: Joey, if you have it, give it to him

Joey: I don't wanna!

Rachel (sternly): JOEY!

Joey: I don't want my best friend to leave!

Ross (tearing up): I gotta go and run an errand

** Ross leaves **

Rachel (softly): He has to leave, Joey.

Joey: Why, dammit?

Rachel: This is the biggest thing to happen to him. It's like you going to Hollywood with a big-name studio. This is Ross' Hollywood studio.

Joey (whining): Fine!

** Joey takes the passport and throws it on the table **

Rachel: It's gonna be OK, Joe. I promise

Joey: No it's not.

Rachel (crying): You're right. It's not

** Joey and Rachel hug **

-- Ending Credits --

[Camera shows Ross and Rachel's room. The camera zooms in on a suitcase by the door].