Friends: The One With The Fanfics

The One With The Thanksgiving Host (2)


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(Scene: Monica and Chandler's place. Everyone-but Ross-is sitting down right now for dinner.)

Phoebe: Don't you think we should wait for Ross?

Joey: Pheebs, you already made us wait 30 minutes for Gunther who didn't even show up! (pause) Would you please let us have dinner!

Phoebe: Fine. I'm just saying...y'know, we're all here having Thanksgiving dinner...y'know, on Thanksgiving Eve. (short pause) And Ross's all the way...y'know, in another place, at this horrible museum where they let a dinosaur fall on little kids!

Monica: Phoebe, don't worry. I just got off the phone with him, he's on his way here and we'll save him some food.

Phoebe: Ugh, do we have to? I'm kinda hungry.

Mike: (smiling) This is nice.

Chandler: Which part is that, Mike?

Mike: You know, just all of us hanging around, having dinner, on Thanksgiving. It's just so-it's so comfy and nice.

Monica: Are-are you implying that you like-that you like the way I've arranged the dining room table?

(Pause)

Mike: Yes.

Rachel: Ok, so uh shall we all start?

All: Ok.

(Monica keeps looking at Rachel, who is very quiet)

Monica: Oh, Rach, could you help me out with something in the kitchen?

Chandler: What, there's more food in there?

Phoebe: Yeah, and you wouldn't put it out here? God, Monica, you're so selfish-ly...selfish!

Monica: Hey...I was just saving this for later.

Phoebe: Oh, that's ok then. Just bring it over.

Monica: Rach?

Rachel: Ok.

(Monica and Rachel get up to the kitchen - Long awkward silence in the dining room, everybody's eating)

Phoebe: I wonder if Tyrannosaurus Rex makes it through the night.

Chandler: Umm...actually, Tyrannosuarus Rex didn't even fall down tonight. Ross just-Ross and I just made that up to avoid all the awkwardness that was going on over there earlier.

Phoebe: What "awkwardness"?

Chandler: Ross wants to propose to Rachel ... and she knew, in advance.

Phoebe: Oh my god Ross's gonna propose?

Mike: Wouldn't that be Ross's fourth wedding?

Chandler: Yes, it would be Ross's fourth wedding, second to the same woman.

Phoebe: I still can't believe Ross's gonna propose.

(Ross enters)

All: Hey! Ross! Oh my god it's Ross! Ross! Hi! Hey!

Ross: You were talking about me, weren't you?

Phoebe: No, we weren't! God, you're self-centered!

Ross: Phoebe, I heard your husband ask if this's gonna be my fourth wedding!

Phoebe: (staring at Mike) Now this is why you should never talk.

Joey: (mouth full of food) Hey, so Ross is Tyrannosaurus Rex still okay? (They all stare at him in ridicule.)

Chandler: Joe...

Joey: Sorry! Are the kids alright?

(Cut to the kitchen.)

Rachel: Ok, so where's that food you were talkin' about?

Monica: We'll, uh, we'll get that in a minute. Uhm, Rach, is everything-is everything alright?

Rachel: Yeah, why?

Monica: You seem a little distracted.

Rachel: No, I was just uh I was just thinking. Y'know, I was just thinking of Ross, obviously! (Pause) Poor sexy Ross. (Pause) He has to spend Christmas Eve at the museum, removing a Trynasaur-something off of little kids.

Monica: So that's it? That's what's going on? You're just thinking of poor Ross?

Rachel: Yeah. (Long Pause) (sighs) Monica, Ross wants to propose to me.

(Cut back to the dining room.)

Ross: I uh I think I'm gonna propose to Rachel.

Phoebe, Joey and Mike: Oh my god! I can't believe this! Well, this-this is unbelievable!

Chandler: Ross...when?

(Ross puts his hand in his pocket and takes out something)

Ross: (holding an engagement ring) I'm gonna do it tonight.

(They're all shocked)

Joey: (to Phoebe) I'm so glad Gunther's not here or he'd kick his (Ross's) ass.

Phoebe: Ross? Tonight?

(Joey goes to the kitchen)

Ross: Yes, tonight alright? I-I can't do this anymore. I can't wait anymore. I'm in love with her and she's in love with me...

Chandler: But don't you want to wait to see if she's in "that place" too?

Ross: No! (Long pause) I'm gonna do it, tonight. I'm gonna ask Rachel to marry me.

(Cut back to the kitchen. Joey walks in on Rachel and Monica's conversation.)

Joey: Oh..my god, were you girls saying something private?

Monica: Yes.

Joey: I'm so glad I intervened then. (ok, i'm not sure if intervened is a word but u know what i mean by saying that, right? The verb of an intervention, if there is a verb.)

Rachel: (to Monica) We'll talk later.

Monica: I'm gonna serve the pie. (leaves the kitchen)

(Cut to the dining-room. Joey returns)

Monica: Hey.

Ross: Hey, where's Rach?

Joey: Oh, she's-she'll be here in a minute. In the meantime, let's all have some pies.

(They sit down but Ross remains standing.)

Monica: Ross?

Chandler: Ross, come sit down. We don't charge for seats.

Ross: Oh, alright. (Ross sits down)

Chandler: We charge for plates. (smiles)

(Time Lapse. They're eating-Rachel's still not there-and Ross keeps looking at the kitchen door)

Ross: Ok, it's been 10 minutes. I'm going in. (takes out the engagement ring which makes Monica gasps)

Phoebe: Oh, right, Mon, Ross's proposing.

Ross: Wish me luck.

All: Good luck! Good luck, Ross.

Chandler: After the first three successful marriages, I don't think you need luck anymore.

(Ross goes into the kitchen where Rachel stands near the sink, biting her fingernails, very very nervous)

Ross: Hey.

Rachel: Hey! Heyyyy-hey, Ross!

Ross: We missed you at dinner.

Rachel: Oh, yeah, well you know, had this thing to do in here. Y'know, stand by the sink and bite my nails. (laughs)

(Ross laughs-fake laughs)

Ross: Uh, Rach?

Rachel: Uh-huh?

(Cut to the dining room)

(They all have their eyes on the kitchen door, listening to Ross and Rachel)

Phoebe: Ok, what're they saying? What're they saying?

Chandler: Ross just said "UH Rach".

Monica: Ooh, I got an "Uh-huh" from Rachel!

All: Yes!

(Cut to the kitchen)

Ross: I am so deeply in-love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy, Rach. (on one knee) Rachel Karen Greene, will you marry me?

(Long pause)

(Cut to the dining room)

Phoebe: (whispering) He just asked her to marry him.

Monica: Oh, my god what'd she say? What'd she say?

(Long Pause)


Screen Fades to Black.