[Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They belong to David Crane and Martha Kauffman. This is just fanfiction, made for fun so enjoy and leave me feedback in the Contact Me page.]

(Continues where The One Where Ross Tries Again, Part I left off...)

[Scene: The Knicks game. Joey and Chandler are sitting in the last row, in the back seats, desperate.]

Joey: This isn't fair. I mean, those were our seats! We really should've fought for 'em.

Chandler: Did you see who they were occupied by?

Joey: Yes, and I don't care that two large strong men were using them. They are our seats! I want 'em back! I mean, I paid for those seats.

Chandler: No, you paid for the soda. I paid for those seats.

Joey: Come on, let's go back there.

Chandler: No, no! Joey, I want to watch the game, I don't wanna die!

Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, I'm your guardian.

(They go to the front seats)

Man 1: What do you want, punks?

Joey: (afraid) Chandler, save me! (Pushes Chandler in front of him.)

[Scene: Alessandro's Restaurant. Phoebe and Monica are at the double date with Justin and Jackson.]

Jackson: Okay, shall we order?

Monica: (Smiling) Wow, a hunk and interested in food, just what I need! (They all look at her) Did I say that outloud?

Phoebe: Yes. (Pause) Yes, I think we should order.

Jackson: Okay, waiter!

Waiter: Yes? Are you ready to order?

Phoebe: Yes, I will have the Italian salad, the vegetarian walnuts, and...a bowl to throw up in.

Monica: Umm...I will have the Italian steak with spicy meat sauce, please. Ohh-and the bowl.

Jackson: Same as Monica.

Waiter: Okay, and you, sir? (Looking at Justin)

Justin: Same as her. (Points to Phoebe) Except, without the bowl, please. (To Phoebe) What do you need the bowl for, anyway?

Phoebe: You know, in case the food isn't that good, I'll need something to thow up in.

Monica: Hey, I just realized all this food is Italian!

Jackson: (sarcastically) Well, it's an Italian restaurant.

Monica: (Laughs so hard and gets excited then stops and starts to cry) I don't know why!

[Scene: Restaurant Javu's. Rachel and Dirk are now eating]

Dirk: I can't believe I let you convince me stay here.

Rachel: Dirk, please. Restaurants aren't all about bathrooms!

Dirk: Did you see how small they are in here?! (Pause) Okay? They're, like, nothing compared to Central Perk's!

Rachel: Okay, I get it! I get it, Dirk. The bathrooms in here are so freaking small. I got that. So now let's just move on, eat our food, and drive me home.

Dirk: Okay.

(Long Silence)

Dirk: I think I'm gonna have nightmares about these bathrooms.

(Rachel puts her fork on the plate, causing a rattling sound, then just glares at Dirk meaningly)

[Cut to Ross's table]

Waiter: May I take your oder, sir?

Ross: No, thanks. I'm just here to chill.

Waiter: Oh, come on, cheer up, man. There are a million other girls out there. (Ross stares at him) I heard you talking to yourself about Rachel. (pause) So, who is this "hottie" Rachel?

Ross: That's her. (Points at Dirk and Rachel's table) You know, the one with the guy who is now looking at us strangely.

Waiter: Wow, that's Rachel? Man, she is a hottie. But, I mean, come on, Rossie, you can win her. (Ross stares at him) Yeah, I heard you calling yourself "Rossie".

Ross: She's just out there with this guy, who she claims to be "so funny and cute".

[Cut to Rachel and Dirk's table]

Rachel: (to Dirk) It's not funny anymore!! (Pause) Okay? I mean, sure, at first I thought it was funny and cute, but now it's, like, all you're talking about! Bathrooms, bathrooms, bathrooms, bathrooms...

Dirk: Well, sorry if some people are big fans!

Rachel: People are big fans of TV, of a famous political figure, of a baseball player, but not of a bathroom!

[Cut to Ross's table]

Ross: (to the waiter) I mean, a fan of the bathroom? How can she not see how weird that is?!

[Cut to Rachel and Dirk's table]

Rachel: (to Dirk) How can you not see how incredibely weird that is?! (Pause) Dirk, I gave you a chance to go out with me because I thought you were a cute guy. But you're not!

[Cut to Ross's table]

Ross: (to waiter) I mean, she obviously thinks he's a cute guy! But, like, why did she have to give him a chance?

[Cut to Rachel and Dirk's table]

Rachel: (to Dirk) And now I'm, like, "Oh, god, why did I have to give you a chance?"

[Cut to Ross's table]

Ross: (to waiter) I love her.

(Long Silence)

[Cut to Rachel and Dirk's table]

Rachel: (to Dirk) I hate you! (Rushes out)

To Be Continued...